What You Don't Know You Don't Know: A Reason to Try New Things

When I was married and looking for solutions to relationship issues, I thought I could see the various possibilities that existed. After the marriage ended, new exploration in relationship dynamics turned up areas I had been totally clueless about...even though I cared a lot and was a smart, well-educated person. How was this possible?

Imagine a pie chart with three sections: What You Know, What You Don't Know (and you know you don't know it), and What You Don't Know You Don't Know. The biggest section is the last one; what you don't know you don't know. Do you wonder what's in that zone for you?

The things in life that take you by surprise, appear out of nowhere, and throw you for a loop come from the territory of what you don't know you don't know. The missed opportunities, the things-that-might-have-been also come from this territory.                                   

To illustrate: I know I don't know how to speak Japanese or how to survive alone in the Amazon wilderness. Because I know I don't know them, I'm not going to get caught unprepared. However, the things I don't know I don't know, I can't even talk about, much less prepare for; they are entirely invisible to me. Major financial companies can disappear overnight? My partner is actually fearful in such-and-such a situation rather than mean-spirited? It's only after such discoveries that I can start to talk about them and deal with possible steps to take. 

So how do you find out what you can't even glimpse? You poke around outside your known world. You get curious, try new experiences, and talk to new people. Richard Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor, found that people who change up what they do and how they do it are significantly more likely to have "lucky" occurrences.

This is my outlook about personal and relationship growth. Before you take a step, it feels like you already see what is there to be known. But there is more! 

While we tend to pay attention to career development, we may not continuously develop ourselves and our relationships. Yet it is development in these core areas that actually has the biggest impact on life satisfaction. 

When you try new things, opportunities appear that you had no idea existed and solutions appear to aggravations you thought you'd have to live with forever. 

So shake it up! Make time for learning more about what's really important to you, whether that's health, wealth, fulfillment, or relationship. Whether you strike up new conversations, pick up a new kind of book, find a mentor, or take a workshop, step out from what you already know and poke around in that vast, invisible zone of what you don't know you don't know. Huge possibilities live out there...FOR THE BETTER!